you're online but you're chatting with other girls

girls that you know i hate so much

why do you talk jokes to them but you never even talk 1 to me

i forced myself to laugh when im with you

i forced myself to be happy when im with you

i really tried hard to convince myself that our relationship will work out somehow

i feel like you dont care bout me dont care bout this relationship

am i just your toy to let you play around?

when i was training in penang you took 5 hours bus trip to go there and find me

when i finish class late you waited for me

other than that i cannot think of anything else that you did for me

i really did appreciate you look for me wait for me

but i wanted you to do more...

i want you to love me more care bout me more talk to me more

but all this is just in my fantasy my dream whenever i wake up all these lies will be gone

when will i wake up and my dream isnt a dream but bcame reality?

跟朋友聊得蛮开心的吧

我传简讯给你可是你没回我还以为你睡了

今天才发现原来你忙着跟女生朋友顶嘴跟他们聊天忘了回我

今天到了下午都没有你的讯息。。算了等不及就自动传简讯给你

我说我想你。。你就只回了我也想你。我回你几句你却到了晚上才回我

你说你会上网可是很多东西做。。我说好吧去做你的东西

你真的那么乖“做东西” 没有理我了

我开facebook看到你update status 之类的东西

我一直等待你找我，给我猜中了你没找我

可能你看到我上网吧，你的facebook就显示你已offline了

我们到底是男女朋友吗？为什么我们之间的沟通就只有那么多呢？

为什么你和你的女生朋友说笑聊天可是你跟我在一起就什么话都没说

每次和你在一起时是多么的尴尬你发现吗？你知道吗？

总觉得我们不是男女朋友就连普通朋友都不是

你对那些不是很熟的朋友都比对我更好

我们一起走街最多只是拉手罢了什么话也没说

每一个经过我们的情侣都很甜蜜的有说有笑

可是我们呢？只是静悄悄的好像刚认识的朋友似的

我们已经在一起一年多了！！！ 为什么我们的沟通程度就只有那么的一点点？

这一年来的沟通程度都没有增加

为什么我一直付出一直保留着这段感情一直的忍耐

可是你却没有发现到呢？你就只会说我什么都不会只会和你吵架

我跟你吵是因为你没有理我。。我只想要你记得我的存在。。那也有错吗？

我跟你说话我真的会气到爆血管气到心脏病。。我讲东你就讲西。。

为什么我们就不能像普通情侣那样沟通呢？到底为什么？？？？

我问你东西你就误会我的意思又跟我吵又弄我哭

为什么我会那么的软弱那么容易哭为你这种臭男人哭有用吗？

你跟本就不在乎。。那我为什么还是傻呆呆的等你为你付出呢？

我看回我们还没有在一起时的讯息。。那是我们都是说说笑笑。。

我们回去从前会不会更好呢？

心情不好也不敢跟你说

我到底该做什么呢？

我到底。。。

该不该继续下去呢？

since the day im back we've been arguing alot

i cried alot i hurt myself alot

but you never know and you never care

you've changed..

you dont treat me the way you used to..

last time you will be very happy when you see me

but now whenever you see me there's no expression at your face

the way your face smiles when you see your friends

i wished i can see that smile at me

but..

it never happen

the way you look at your friends is always full of joy

but..

when you look at me i can only feel that you dont wanna see me dont wanna talk to me

last time you will always talk to me patiently nicely gently

but you talk to me loudly shouted at me even when i din do anything wrong

nowadays i keep having the feeling that you dont love me anymore

if you dont love me already just tell me directly

i rather you tell me the truth than lying to me bout how you feel

at least i wont hurt so much if you tell me now

at least i wont feel so insecure anymore

at least i will just cry for this time and stop forever

at least i dont need to face you anymore

i just cant convince myself that you still love me

everything that i see i feel just gives me more prove that you dont love me

or maybe...you just didnt realize that the feeling is not there anymore

这几天都觉得心情超低落，在一起一年多了，吵架还多过讲笑。
以前你每时每刻都会传短讯给我打给我，才分开不到一分钟你就会跟我说你很想我然后亲我
可是现在我想见你一分钟你都说你不得空应酬我
以前的每一天我都会很期待你的短讯因为只要收到你的一封短讯我就如飞上天的小鸟如此兴奋如此开心
现在呢？你没有再传我短讯，没有了那些甜甜蜜蜜的短讯，没有了那些会令我笑不拢嘴的短讯。
我传了你十封短讯你才回我一封短讯。我没有传你短讯，我的电话就一整天都不会响。
你没有了以前的自动，没有了以前的关心，没有了以前的对待，没有了以前的包容
我讲错了一些话你就会不爽，我跟男生传短讯跟男生出去跟男生聊天跟男生有说有笑你不爽，我发小姐脾气你也不爽，我骂你你也不爽，你要查我的电话我不给你你不爽，我要跟你聊久一点你竟然不爽，现在连我为你而哭你也不爽。
你骂我你讲我你生气我，我都可以忍气吞声。就算我们吵架不是我的错到最后也是我安慰你逗你开心，因为我不想也不能失去你。
我以前跟你说我爱你，你都会说我也爱你。
现在，我说我爱你，你只会嗯，然后就没有说话了。
我明白你是大男人所以能让的我都尽量让你，可是你就连让我也不想让还要大吵一番。
有女生接近你跟你讲话我不爽你就说我无理取闹，我们又再吵架。
我提出分手希望你会留住我可是你毫无感觉地说一句‘ 随便你 ’
到最后你没有说你要挽回感情，可我却忍不到没有你的感受，所以还是要求继续在一起。
去学校和回家的路上你都没有和我聊过天，我说为什么你不跟我讲话。你很冷淡地说我在驾车专心不到别烦我。我从心底上哭了，我的心很痛很痛，我扮哭你就说你干嘛哭？然后就摆了个臭脸。没有安慰我也算了，我还要给你骂给你讲，看你眼色。
下课时我想跟你有多一点时间相处，每一天找你吃饭，你都说随便你。直到有一天你说你没有朋友了因为你的朋友不喜欢你重色亲友，你就和我大吵，我们就没有在一起吃饭了。
你在朋友面前就有说有笑，在我面前只会摆臭脸给我脸色看。
看到你朋友你会直接打招呼大喊大叫，看到我和你打招呼你就只会说 ‘hi’ 就走。
朋友的生日你给他们一个惊喜的派对，给他们礼物，请他们吃饭。
我的生日没有惊喜的派对没有礼物没有吃饭也算了，你连祝贺我的话也没有，还骂我，弄我哭。
有时候我会想我宁愿做你的朋友至少我会舒服些可是我做不到因为我真的真的很爱你。

每一次你亲我都会令我更爱你
每一次你抱我都会令我更加爱你
可是同时你也令我更心痛，更伤心
而最可悲的是你什么都不在乎

Why Love is Blind?

A long time ago, before the world was created and humans set foot on it,
God had put all the human "qualities" in a separate room.
Since all the qualities were bored they decided to play hide & seek.

Madness" was one of the qualities and he shouted: "I want to count, I want to count!"
And since nobody was crazy enough to want to seek "Madness",
all the other qualities agreed. So "Madness" leaned against a tree and started to count: One, two,three...

As "Madness" counted, the qualities went hiding. "Treason hid in a pile of garbage..
" Lie " said that it would hide under a stone, but hid at the bottom of the lake.
And Madness continued to count "...seventy nine, eighty, eighty one... "
By this time, all the qualities were already hidden -except "Love"

For stupid as "Love " is, he could not decide where to hide.
And this should not surprise us, because we all know how difficult it is to hide "Love".

"Madness": "...ninety five, ninety six, ninety seven...

Just when "Madness" got to one hundred.........
"Love" jumped into a rose bush where he hid.

And Madness turned around and shouted: "I'm coming, I'm coming!"

"Laziness" was the first to be found, because Laziness" was too lazy to hide.
"Madness " searched madly and found "Lie" at the bottom of the lake.
One by one, Madness found them all - except Love.
Madness was getting desperate, unable to find Love.

Envious of Love, "Envy" whispered to "Madness ": "You only need to find Love,
and Love is hiding in the rose bush.
"Madness" Jumped on the rose bush and he heard loud cry .
The thorns in the bush had pierced "Loves" eyes.

Hearing the commotion God came into the room and saw what had happened.
He got very angry and cursed "Madness" and said since "Love" has become blind becos of u ...
u shall always be with him"

And so it came about that from that day on,
Love is blind and is always accompanied by Madness.!

1st outing in the holidays =D

went to watch the ugly truth with michelle...
suppose to meet at 11 sth but den bcoz of my dad reached pavilion at 1 sth...
run from the pav entrance to level 6
i can still rmb clearly the way the old man looked at me wen i was running =.=
the movie at 1.50 so went shopping awhile b4 the movie..
afta michelle bought her hotdog n drink den went in ad..
the hall is full of people..wao...still got so many ppl watch tis movie ><
hmm..overall its nice n funny la...definitely a must watch...
afta the movie wanted to go lowyat to buy something but raining
so walked to sungei wang to get sth to drink n 'keng sam si'
glad v had dat talk michelle xD

michelle is so glad to c me =p

of coz im glad too..i just didnt show it hehe

went home at 6 sth...haiz.. 1 word to describe 2day..
tired....

practicing of drama n the day of the drama ( HIV/AIDS: Breaking the silence)

5/9/09

2day is the last day of practicing drama!!! yes!!
finally dun need to go college early on saturday morning just to practice tis 'meaningless' thing
reached college at 9 alone....den went to library while waiting for other ppl to come
MPH was not open so have to go frn's house to practice..
reached there around 9.30 n guess wat? the director...the main actor haven arrive yet
so while waiting for them at 1 sth ordered macdonald n pizza delivery
around 3 sth oni started practicing and not only dat
they changed my script!!!! last min oni chnge my script den chnge tis n dat
so in the end around 7 sth oni i can leave the house
n dat day 1st time i reached home at 9 sth almost 10pm!!! dammit!!! =.=

discussing the drama

elaine n melissa got so bored while waiting for other ppl

elaine n man li felt asleep while waiting for them

spring is bored too ><

gary..the doctor in the drama..

tyty trying to fix the table he broke =.=

duno wat they were doing xD

pretending to sleep
mcdelivery!! =D
sky-the useless actor =p
yvonne-the reported in the drama
he's finishing the pizza by himself (sort of)

9/9/09

its a lovely day!!!! many people are marrying today..so i heard frm the radio...
because 9/9/9 means 'chang chang jiu jiu' which means lasting forever...
even im getting married but in the drama dat im performing 2day xD
morning is my service n its the worse service ever...
missed 1 service last time so kinda messed up the service procedures =(
and got criticised by someone hu tinks he's dat good wen actually he's not..tsk
den afta service went to the locker room to change n prepare for the drama
at arnd 2.30 went to MPH to get ready....

from left..jing shien,vivian,me,kyalin n fiona
i look awful..s**t!!
fiona,me,vicky n suraya..
love tis pic!!! =Dthe awards of the drama..drama poster..the judges

finally at 5 sth its our turn to perform...
our drama is about the main actor-a movie star getting hiv n how his gf-me (swt) gonna accept it
but den got 1 scene is bout me n him getting married
n dat a*****e sky left the ring duno at where n summore call me to find it for him wen its suppose to b him to go find it =.= but in the end cant find so pretended there's a ring...
dats wat v call acting in a drama xD
the judges said our storyline was good but cant really get wat we're acting n showing =(
den its announcing the results time....
as expected...my group didnt win..
haiz...nvm lu...v tried our best...or only some people tried ><

kena slapped by jessie...
duno y her face isnt shown here =p

jessie,ruhi,kyalin,jing shien n me =)

2/9/09

2day we're cooking beef!! syok!!! xD
but tis time my partner is wei heng...so i call him do the cutting n stuff..muahahaha =p
the most busiest service ever bt chef said its the best service ever =D
some guest wanted chicken n some guest wanted beef so kinda got mixed up
n v kinda slow..the chef keep shouting station 2!! y so long??
n i quickly run n put the plates =.=
finally wen the food are sent to guest... v curi makan in the kitchen...
the best part of service class!!=p

the main course..roasted beef with yorkshire pudding

appetizer-mornay crab cake..i tink =.=
1 guest can oni eat 1 of these..giamsap =p

yorkshire pudding dat looks like drumstick o.O

baking yorkshire pudding...
the dextrinization of it? hmm..

tada..afta taking it out frm the oven

me n vicky =D
deng..i look so short

vicky's turtle

me n suraya trying to eat vicky's turtle =p

noobie me n cute suraya =D

vicky curi makan-ing =p

see the cockroach?
sean n calvin were barbequing it =.=

3/9/09

pastry class!!! yay!!! or not =(
the worst class ever!!! got scolded by the lecturer infrnt of strangers!! tsk
she scolded us coz we left wen she didnt ask us to...
how v noe?she left the class wit bags n evrything n got other class in dat class
so v go oso lo takkan stay there rot meh
its not really our fault =p
anyway...v baked puff pastry 2day....
its kinda fun though...not as tiring as the last class where my hand almost broke ><

the leftovers of the dough..

my groups's puff pastry afta taking it out of the oven..
chef's puff pastry with icing...yummy =)

free lunch 3 days straight...nice ><

25/8/09

afta food science class was another 5 hours break...
luckily tis time got things to do...
v went to the housekeeping suite to practice bed making as thursday got assessment..

calvin boringing n staring at duno where?
elaine n zee practicing...
oops..sorry elaine for making u un-clear..vicky was answering the phone so v paste the papers at her hand...
n suraya obviously was eavesdropping =p

afta i practiced (so call =.=) went to ariff's service to hav lunch...
wen eating half way oni realized i left my voucher at my file which i gave it to my frn
den faster call them to bring to the restaurant for me.. if not hav to stay there wash bowl le xD

the centrepiece..it stinks =.=
the smell can make ppl die =p
the mocktail..the hard to cut appetizer
the not so bad main course..
of coz not dat big portion la ><
the weirdo server =p

oops...forgot to take pic of the dessert ><

wanted to go sunway wit eevon afta lunch but den like not enuff time so i went to library lepak...wei heng n suraya..sien-ing
vicky n zee so call sleeping =p

den the room where v can watch tv is not vacant so v went to 'rent' FRIENDS to watch..
arnd 3.30 acc class gonna start ad so went to the class which is just 1 floor below..
the lecturer gave out our mid-term paper n i got 32.5 /35 !!!
so happy dat time but at the same time sad oso la...coz wrong 1 only =(
den at 3.50 the lecturer said class dismissed..n v all like wat the....?
v waited for 5 hours for tis class n the class is finished afta 20 mins?? dammit >< tmr having front office exam..haiz...sienzz..2/3 of the class is exam =.=

26/8/09

class started from 10 but den the lecturer keep talking till 12 only start exam
screwed up during exam...dammit!! ><
afta exam straighaway rush to g6's service..

mocktail...it may look not nice
but it tastes nice =D

appetizer-cream of pumpkin soup
main course-chicken with mushroom sauce?chocolate mousse cake...yummy =D

27/8/09
mrning had bed making exam n it sucks..
spent too much time oredi >< oh well...screw it!~
afta class went to vicky's frn service..1st time going..duno wats the difference xD

mocktailappetizer-prawn cocktail
hmm..ours taste much more better =p

main course- chicken with rice?

pandan siffon cake..n they're right..
pasar mlm oso taste better than tis =.=

wei heng is attacking the cake =p

vicky is happy wit her cake
mayb coz hers is in pink..duno y =.=

slyvia-the sleeping wan..
vicky-the tying hair wan..
suraya-the staring at midair wan?=p

vicky-the cute wan
suraya-the SO CALL mature wan=p
me-the noob wan